DB Coaching & Consultancy Limited

Business & Personal Coach

Become Your Own Masterpiece….NLP (Day Eight)

Well day eight will certainly be one that I remember fondly and definitely with a smile!!

I’d already certified as a Practitioner of Hypnotherapy, yet for whatever reason had not been proactively utilising the skills in my work with clients. After this week though, I can state with absolute conviction that I cannot wait to cement hypnotherapy into my offer to clients. A friend not so long ago said to me “wow, you can tell you really like to get under the skin and to the root cause of what leads people to behave in the way that they do, and how a problem becomes a problem” – she was absolutely right. Now, as a Master Practitioner of NLP, Hypnotherapy & Time Line Therapy – I really will have incredible tools in my toolbox!

Anyone who knows me reasonably well, knows that I have a bit of a soft spot for Derren Brown. I’ve been to several of his shows and have been lucky enough to go up on stage with him. Now, I refuse to believe that he’s a magician (I’m not a fan of magic). What I am learning though, is how much NLP and hypnosis content is involved in his act.

So I was so excited today, to recreate something that I have seen Derren do before – full body catalepsy. Essentially this is where the body goes so stiff and rigid that an the individual can be rested between two chairs without support between the neck and the ankles (see the title picture for a visual representation). Fair play to Hugh, who is obviously so good at going in to trance, that our disbelief and giggles did not get in the way!! Amazing!!

I’ll be reviewing my Derren Brown DVD’s (yeah, sad I know) to see what other NLP techniques I can observe in action.

Become Your Own Masterpiece….NLP (Day Seven)

I know that you may not have heard of TimeLine Therapy (TLT)…..having come across it again this week in the Master Practitioner NLP course, and now certified to practice it at a Master Practitioner level, I cannot wait to further embed TLT within my offer to clients. I have witnessed incredible results both within myself and others. I will be using it to support clients:

  • To let go of Negative Emotions from the past
  • To let go of Limiting Decisions from the past
  • Create a future the way they want it

So what is TLT?

(Extracted from In 1985, Tad James, applied a therapeutic process to the concept of an internal  memory storage system. The result was a collection of techniques  which produces long-lasting transformation very quickly-faster than what is currently called Brief Therapy. These powerful Time Line Therapy™ techniques are becoming the method of choice to make fast, effective, long-term changes in behavior.

Your “Time Line” is how you unconsciously store your memories or how you unconsciously know the difference between a memory from the past and a projection of the future. Behavioral change in an individual takes place at an unconscious level. People don’t change consciously. The Time Line Therapy™ process allows you to work at the unconscious level and release the effects of past negative experiences and change “inappropriate” programming in minutes rather than days, months or years.

The first step of the intervention is to elicit the client’s Time Line. You can see mine in the picture to the right. I’m sure if you asked your unconscious mind where your future is, and where your past is, I have an idea that you might say “it’s from left to right, or front to back, or up to down, or in some direction away from you in relation to your body.” Go on, ask your unconscious mind, where is your past? And your future?


Become Your Own Masterpiece…NLP (Day Six)

Every morning the Master Practitioner in NLP course starts with the initiation of three stories……I say ‘initiation’ as all three commence but are not finished. It is only at the end of the day that the story is completed and/or the punchline delivered – and of course they are finished in the opposite order to which they were started….confused much yet!!? Our unconscious minds seek conclusion, and in its absence we go into a trance like state. This state is perfect for enhanced learning. So if you’re a trainer, why not try it at your next session. (And for the eagle eyed among you, there might also be some similar logic as to why ‘Day Five’ is missing!)

If you need some inspiration, here are two of my favourites…..

Bird In A Cage……A bird found himself in a cage. The cage life was really all he remembered and, as such, it seemed like a normal life for a bird. It was a decent sized cage and there was enough room to move around comfortably, although not to fly. He regularly toured the cage, often finding some twigs, straw, cloth, some food and water. Well, the bird thought, since he was here, he may as well make himself comfortable. So, he began making a crude nest. As time went on, he found other things around to make himself a first class home, with plenty of diversions and food. Not too bad, he thought. It might be nice to try out the wings, but then again he was comfortable.

One day, during his regular inspection, he was surprised to see that the cage had a door! The cage had not been changed, the door had always been there, the bird had simply not noticed it before. The bird was intrigued and inspected it further. To his astonishment, the latch of the door was not locked. With one peck on his part, the latch disengaged and the door swung open.

There were never any constraints, just the lack of recognition of the actual situation. The bird perched at the threshold of flying into freedom. Ready to go out, or not?

Donkey in the Well….

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over & help him. They all grabbed a dirt & began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey didn’t realized what was happening & cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel ­of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off & take a step up. As the farmer’s neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off & take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well & happily trotted off..!!!

Always Remember in Life that: Life is going to throw dirt on you. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off & take a step up

Become Your Own Masterpiece….NLP (Day Four)

A little bit of a entertainment from Day Four on the Master Practitioner in NLP course. We were further advancing and harnessing our skills in utilising NLP to overcome an individual’s phobia. 

Now, I’m quite an interesting case study for irrational fears: spiders, frogs, dead or dying animals out of context (yes, you have read this last one correctly, and anyone with a ‘gift’ bringing cat might be able to understand this one).

Part of the technique is to understand how the individual does their phobia – how do they do what they do….here’s a little extract of my ‘spider fearing’ technique. Just an extract, it is obviously far more ‘complicated’! I know that some of you will be able to relate…….(WARNING – Contains cartoon spiders!!)

Become Your Own Masterpiece….NLP Day Three

You’ve probably come across the concept of personality profiling…there’s plenty out there. Yesterday (day three on the NLP Master Practitioner Course) we completed our Myers Briggs Type Indicator. The MBTI was constructed by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers. It is based on a theory proposed by Carl Jung who had speculated that there are four principal psychological functions by which humans experience the world – sensation, intuition, feeling, and thinking – and that one of these four functions is dominant for a person most of the time.

The goal of knowing about personality type is to understand and appreciate differences between people. As all types are equal, there is no best type.

There are 16 different types….unless you’re ‘slightly awkward’ like me and 50/50 on one of the functions, which then gives you a couple of options to choose from.

So my type is depicted as XNTJ – which simply puts means:

  • that I can be equally introverted as I am extroverted (X
  • Intuitor rather than Sensor (N)
  • Thinker rather than Feeler (T)
  • Judger rather than Perceiver (J)

Now for the fun part, deciding whether an INTJ or ENTJ seems closer to my personality and what better way to debate than through the power of cartoons!!

Now on the course we used The Simpsons….so would you say I’m more Krusty the Clown…..

Or Mr. Burns?! I think I know which one resonates with me more strongly….ENTJ.

I’m not a Simpsons fan, so I began to investigate alternatives. There’s comparisons of Disney Princesses, Star Wars Characters, and so many more. Mr. Ray from Finding Nemo is my favourite ENTJ so far!

As a qualified DISC profiling facilitator, I understand the benefits of understanding your personality and behaviour type. I have seen it achieve amazing benefits for both individuals and teams alike. And it is certainly something that I will be advocating in the ‘Become Your Own Masterpiece’ workshops and programmes.

Become Your Own Masterpiece….NLP (Day Two)

Pour Me A Glass….

A short and sweet one today… is Friday evening after all and I know that you are keen for the weekend to start. (And to be honest, the trainer’s promise of bamboozling us, confusing us and ‘breaking our brains’ is taking affect this evening – I’m holding on to his promise of new neurological connections being made. I’m confident that’s already started!!)

So top tip for you….the concept of embedded commands: an embedded command is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique for “planting” a thought within the mind of another person beneath the person’s conscious awareness.

Without boring you with the ‘science’, the essence of the language pattern is to deliver two ‘hows’ before the actual command (the ‘what’).

“It would be good, if you could walk to the kitchen (1), grab the bottle of wine (2) and pour me a glass (3). Now. Could you?”

With attention to detail (it needs to be covert), and effective tone of voice (lower and louder), it could work. Not a promise…it’s Friday night and surely worth a try!!

Good Luck!!

(And yes, for those that know me this post is ironic as I do not drink alcohol. It would be a refreshing glass of Diet Coke for me…)

Become Your Own Masterpiece….NLP (Day One!)

I am sure I cannot be the only trainer/facilitator that has experienced this problem….using fantastic quotes, and misplacing the name of the individuals who said them? Then you stop using the quote, at the risk of it losing its credibility in the absence of its full context. Well, just one of the learnings that I am thankful for today is the reminder of Viktor Frankl‘s name and the quote above.

Viktor was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist andHolocaust survivor. Today, on the Master Practitioner in NLP course, his attitude and thinking was used to demonstrate the concept of cause and effect. There are those of us at ’cause’ who get results, whilst individuals at ‘effect’ give reasons and justifications……or as an associate of mine once said, “there are two types of people in this world, drains and radiators.”

Also rather interestingly today, I had a flashback to something that I said to a friend last week. We were talking about team dynamics and the impact of gender balance on the environment…..and I said something along the lines of….”I couldn’t think of anything worse than working in an all female environment.” And guess what…I am the only lady in attendance on this course. Very unusual.

Now for my homework….developing Milton Model hypnotic language patterns. Now, I know that you are curious to learn more about it too, as it’s always a good idea to learn new things, isn’t it? NLP friends, I am hoping that I cracked a mind-read, a lost performative and a tag question. I guess that I will find out tomorrow!!

Become Your Own Masterpiece….NLP

Over eight hours of auditory training listened to; a 215 page manual reviewed and highlighted; and the pre-course test completed…..tomorrow is the start of my 10-day live training for the Master Practitioner in NLP.

Over the next 10 days I will be exploring: quantum linguistics, cutting edge reframing, parts integration, advanced sub-modalities, advanced strategies, value, The Clare Graves Model, modelling, hypnotherapy, Time Line Therapy and NLP Coaching. Wow!! I must admit that I get a little tired thinking about it…but I can assure you that my enthusiasm always takes over!!

I am looking to make a slight change to my business model in 2017; and as such I have recently designed the content of the ‘Become Your Own Masterpiece’coaching sessions and workshops. These will be ready for launch in early 2017.

My attendance on this NLP Master Practitioner Course is another step on my own personal and business journey… some ways I guess you could say, perfecting my own ‘Masterpiece’. And I look forward to sharing the benefits with my clients.

Over the next 10-days I commit to posting my key insights or learning from the day. Watch this space!

Is ‘consistency’ one of the greatest acts of kindness?

I spent the last six months or so of 2016 coaching and developing frontline Social Care Practitioners around the concept of Strengths-Based Practice. On my last day one of the coachees posed an interesting question, which led to a fascinating debate on the day and has left me reflecting on it ever since. What did she say….

“I must say that you are one of the most positive individuals that I have ever met. Positivity is your strength. You are so lucky to have had the training that you have had to enable you to have this mindset consistently.”

 Now, I’ll leave the full debate about nature versus nurture for another post in the future, and I would love to hear your personal experiences in the meantime. I’m sure that there will be the whole spectrum of responses. There certainly was on the day: obviously this lady was in the 100% trained positivity camp, whereas the guy sitting next to her was of the 100% opinion that it was an innate skill and that I was born with a positive mindset. As a professional Coach, I imagine the answer is somewhere in-between. I know oodles of strategies for developing, nurturing and sustaining a positive mindset; perhaps the ‘nature’ part makes it easier for some than others depending on their baseline. Anyway I digress – this is not the nuts and bolts of my personal reflection..

Please don’t get the wrong idea about me either…..I’m not the skipping down the corridors, beaming from ear to ear, irritating type of positive (well I hope not anyway)!! I prefer ‘understated and effortless’ positivity. I have my bad days like everyone else. I have my strategies for resolving negativities quickly; and above all I endeavour to never show that side in front of my clients or training attendees.

They deserve to see the best version of me, and only ever that version.

I would be a terrible trainer, facilitator, Coach if I took ‘baggage’ into the session with me, yet I am sure we have all experienced it first hand. You probably only need to think back to a conversation with a partner who’s not listening to you properly or is obviously distracted following a tough day at work. Their mind is elsewhere but you need them to be truly present. And what happens next? Feelings of resentment, annoyance, irritation, guilt perhaps. You feel like you have been short changed somehow.

I’ve always been quite a natural ‘compartmentaliser’ and my journey to become a Personal Performance Coach through The Coaching Academy really did harness the skill (so my attendee was right in a way, although I really am adverse to the word ‘lucky’). There are a lot of techniques out there to support oneself in de-baggaging, or as an ex-Cabin Crew friend recently said: “Emptying your Capacity Bucket.”

There’s relaxation, visualisation and mindfulness techniques. There’s stories of individuals who write their frustrations on a piece of paper and then lock them in a box, ready to be picked up later. You may have also heard the story of the The Trouble Tree:

” The Carpenter I hired to help me restore and old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.”

“On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.”

“Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.”

“Oh, that’s my trouble tree”, he replied. “I know I can’t help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don’t belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again.”

“Funny thing is”, he smiled, “when I come out in the morning to pick ’em up, there ain’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.”

What I actually think the lady in my session was commenting on was my ability to behave in a consistent manner. The positivity thing might actually be a bit of a red-herring. This got me thinking about consistency (not necessarily positivity) as an essential leadership skill.

So what did I do? I googled it of course!! There are so many great quotes to chose from; my favourite has to be “we become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day.”

I have had some great and inspirational managers in my career; and reflecting back I think their consistency might have been their greatest attribute. If they were consistently positive all the better! In fact I have met some seriously miserable managers – and when done consistently it weirdly sort of works. At least their staff knew exactly what they were going to get and were respectful of that. It becomes trickier for employees when faced with an inconsistent manager – up one minute, down the next. As leaders don’t our staff deserve the best version of us, consistently?

And why stop at leadership or business; aren’t we all looking for a little bit of consistency in all aspects of our lives?

I’m not a parent and I am certainly not going to start dishing out parenting advice. But I was a child once, and I know that one of the kindest things my parents did was to apply boundaries and rules consistently. And what about our other personal relationships too – how do they benefit from a consistent approach (of course allowing room for spontaneity and surprise)?

I’ve consistently become a little bit obsessed with the word ‘consistent’ as a result of this experience and now writing this article… I’ll sign off here. I will leave you with one final thought though……How could you become more consistent? It might just be the kindest thing you do!

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